Tip: Family Fun for Thanksgiving

20 Fun Things You Can Do with Family on Thanksgiving

Hi Host moms—  I found this great list of ideas for Thanksgiving on the DumbLittleMan Tips for Life blog. It’s such a great list that there is no way to summarize it and do it justice, so I’m excerpting it in large chunks… but if you want the whole thing and/or if you want to print it out for later reference, please click back to DumbLittleMan so that they get credit for the page views. Photos from my secret stash…

"We all know some of the favorite things people like to do on Thanksgiving: watch football, watch The Macy’s Day Parade, and of course taking a nap after gorging on Turkey. Well the purpose of this article is to inspire everyone who reads it to turn off the TV (web, video games) for part of the day and really spend some quality time with your friends and family. You’ll have have fun doing it and you’ll create fun, fond memories."

1. Take a Walk. Pick an enjoyable destination.
2. Play Touch Football. Or soccer, tag, hide-n-seek, etc. Just get outside with the gang and do something that involves running around and taking in some nice fresh air.
3. Boardgames!
4. Play Charades. This doesn’t take much. Make your own rules as you go. Have fun!
5. Sing-a-Long. Karaoke. Make up a contest.
6. Memory Sharing. Share stories. You can pick a theme such as:
The greatest day of my life.

• The best thing that happened in my life this year.
• My favorite memory from childhood.
• The funniest thing that ever happened to me.

Have someone scribe the stories or videotape the event.
7. Share Thanks. At dinner have everyone share what they are thankful for before eating dinner.
8. Silly Dance Contest. Just like it says. Be silly. Dance. Make up your own rules.
9. Kids Talent Show.
10. I Love My Family because…. Gather round as a family and have each person share what they love about the family. (I personally heart this idea….)
11. Share the Love. Have the family all in one room and have each person tell why they admire the person next to him/her. And then that person says why they admire the person next to him/her, and so on. "I Admire ___________ because…"
12. Treasure Hunt. Create a simple treasure map and "prizes."
13. Name That Tune. Play the humming game where each teams or individuals have to name the tune.
14. The Questions Game. Here is a link to a family game with very few rules . You get to make up the rules. The idea is to spark conversations, have fun, and get to know each other better.
15. The Craziest Thing …. (that I saw or experienced this year). As a family tell stories that can be true or made up. Everyone tells a crazy story that is either true or made up and everyone has to guess if it is true or not. And the story doesn’t have to be something that they actually experienced.
16. Our Family Tree. Have everyone imprint a fingerpaint handprint on a big sheet of paper with their name underneath. You can have it framed or take a picture of it to share with everyone. (How great would this be to take to Aunt Barney in the adult care facility?)
17. Start a Thanksgiving Day Banner. Starting this year create a banner that can hang in your living room that will have a picture of the whole family from each year. It can become an heirloom for future generations. You could also create a similar item electronically say with a website.
18. Three Legged Races.
19. Family Thanksgiving Journal. Grab a blank notebook. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Write down everyone’s thanks for this year. And then next year do the same so that over time you build a treasured family book of thanks as well as a sort of family history.
20. Make Me Laugh. Tell jokes. You can make it into a game to see if you can get someone to laugh.

Happy Thanksgiving all! Enjoy!

Originally written for Dumb Little Man by K. Stone in 2007. She is the author of Life Learning Today , a blog about daily life improvements.

Can This Relationship Be Saved?: Host Dad’s au pair is causing problems for me, in my house

Host moms–your advice is needed on this one– and it’s a pretty unique situation. There are THREE relationships — maybe even four– in this request for advice.  Relationship 1: Between the writer and the au pair , Relationship 2: Between the au pair and the Host Dad, and Relationship 3: Between the writer and the Host Dad who is also her boyfriend.  Let’s assume that things with Relationships 4 & 5, between the Au Pair & kids, and Dad & kids, are working out okay.   This situation is complex, maybe we can each just toss in an idea or two?

Re-assessing my perspective: Am I crazy?

I am in a weird situation. My boyfriend, his children, and his newly acquired au-pair all moved into my house. He is a widower and his children are young. People said this would be hard, but I never realized the trials I would go through.

I am a career woman. The demands of my job make it impossible to be a hands-on mom for the time-being.

My boyfriend is trying to make the best situation for everyone- giving au pair child rearing responsibilities, allowing me to meet my deadlines at work, etc. My problem is that I’m not happy. I love the kids and my boyfriend. i personally can’t find common ground with the au pair.

She wants to “serve” me, but I refuse her offers to wash my clothes or make me food. She manipulates situations - using the cell phone for international calls- to the tune of hundreds of dollars per month, she overflows the shower and the washing machine regularly, she doesn’t clean the table after the kids eat- leaving dishes in the sink and food smeared on the table.

My boyfriend feels that it is too hard on the kids to have numerous caregivers (the previous three were poorly selected) and wants to stick with this one because she has a positive attitude with the kids. He also wants to avoid having a “hot young au pair” because it won’t be healthy for our relationship because he calls me the jealous type- therefore he has another excuse to keep this au pair.

She will be finished with her contract in a few months. I have indicated that date should represent the termination point. He indicated she could stay on “somehow”. This mostly comes down to inertia, I think. He doesn’t want to change because it is easier not to.

He hasn’t ever contacted a babysitter.

I don’t know how to deal with this. Can it be handled, or should we part ways?

Are my feelings relevant, or should I just be handsoff and let him handle this situation however he sees fit?

My house is really taking a beating because it is being damaged - it’s my only investment and I don’t think the discipline is up to par. I know my friends and family members would never be so lenient in their own situations. Yet I don’t have the leadership position- I am given equal or less-than-equal say compared to the au pair, depending on the situation.

I feel that if this is going to evolve into a family situation, a temporary au pair can’t be given so much power that those other bonds and family environment don’t develop.

I’m trying to hang on to some sanity and find a way to make this work. But I am on the verge on living alone intentionally, because I can’t find a workable solution.

Moms & Dads– your thoughts?

Can This Relationship Be Saved? Should It Be? Your Host Mom advice wanted….

Hi Moms-

Just got this request for advice from another mom– It’s one of those questions that I find especially vexing: Can this relationship be saved? And, even before that, Should it be?   What do you think?  Here’s the story:

I’m having a personality conflict with my au pair and am really unsure as to whether to try to work it out or cut my loses. These “conflicts” last for several days after I correct something she’s done. The first time, one of my boys indicated several times over two days that he wasn’t getting enough lunch. So, I checked to see what my au pair was putting in the lunch box. This then became that I was accusing her of starving my children and she wouldn’t speak to me for four days. This last time, she was 20 minutes late in starting in the morning. I knocked on her door to wake her up. This was the second time that week (she’s only on three mornings during the week), so I indicated if she needed help in understanding how to set her alarm clock we would help. That was four days ago. Last night - during our regular family meeting — she indicated that I discount her feelings and am unaware of her perspective on life, and that we were in crisis.

I will be the first admit that I am not a touchy feely person who solicits “friend” conversations with my au pair. I go to law school full-time and barely have enough time for my kids, much less time for a 26-year-old grown woman. I see her in passing in the morning and at the dinner table. I do thank her on an almost daily basis for doing my little girl’s hair, for taking the dog for a walk (not required to do so), for doing this or that with my kids. I say good morning, how are you doing, all the basic pleasantries. We had an au pair for two years and there were no serious conflicts at any time between us. Can it be fixed or will it just get worse?

Here’s my quick summary of the points:

• This mom is doing her best to be kind and encouraging to her AP.
• She has given the AP direct, specific feedback about things that need to be changed or adjusted.
• She is conscientious about having meetings for feedback * relationship building, and (probably) doesn’t have a lot of flexible, informal time for interacting with the Au Pair.
• The mom has some previous experience so she knows it can work and that she has been a good host mom.

• The AP tasks in question are straightforward: making lunch and being on time. Neither one of these tasks is a "style" issue — just simple objective changes are needed.
• On the down side– sleeping late twice in one week? Not a good sign.
• On the plus side, the topic did come up during a family meeting.

• The AP is a full grown adult (no teenager here).
• She seems to have a overly dramatic reaction to criticism, both in terms of responding out of proportion and dragging things out.

We don’t know:

• How long the AuPair has been with the family/how much left in your year?
• Whether the Mom is otherwise happy with the AP, her childcare approach, and her job performance.
• Whether the kids like the AP.

Other questions we might have:

• Does the mom actually like the AP?
• Is the AP otherwise a nice addition to the family?
• Any other signs of problems (low job performance, mean to kids, unsafe)?

Because my own bad experiences with APs had to do with one who was simply unwilling to try anything other than what she-was-doing-that-wasn’t-working, and another who was a drama queen, I’m a bit biased. So I want to hear what you all have to say, before I add my $.02.

Moms, help!

Tip: It is Probably Better NOT to Talk About Daniel Craig …

… with your Au Pair, or for that matter, when your Au Pair is nearby. Can you see why?

And yes, Kathy, Jamie, Margot and Sarah, I’m talking to you. 

Celebrate Your Au Pair’s First Snowfall!

Does your au pair come from a tropical or always warm country? Do you live in a place with four seasons? If so, your family might get to share a real delight — you might get to see your au pair enjoy her very first snowfall!

Check out this photo of two of our au pairs (when overlapping ), both from South Africa, enjoying a blizzard!

If you come from a place where there never is snow (and, even if you don’t) the first snowfall of the year can be magical. It turns adults into children, cynics into romantics, and good drivers into bad ones. (More on that later. Back to the romance…).

Another of our South African au pairs, CP, celebrated her first snowfall by putting on her bathing suit , standing in the 10 inches of snow in front of our house, and taking pictures of herself to send back home.

In contrast to the thrills of the South Africans, both our Estonian and Lithuanian au pairs had teasingly dismissive reactions: "What, this is a blizzard? You close school for only 5 inches of snow?"

It took you/me a lifetime so far to learn all these ways to enjoy snow, but your au pair only has this winter right now, so let’s get going! Here are some fun things to do to help your au pair celebrate her first snowfall.

• Take some pictures of her in the snow.
• Show your au pair how to make a snowperson.
• Stick a fluffy handful down the back of her collar (only if you have a good relationship).
• Do NOT let your au pair drive until the roads are absolutely clear.
• Explain the concept of "black ice" and show her some.
• Ask your kids to explain to your au pair where snow comes from, and why it melts on your tongue.
• Show au pair how to shovel the front stairs and clear the windshield.
• Demonstrate the different techniques for a saucer, a sled, and a snurfer.
• Teach your au pair how to put her feet into plastic bags before she puts on her/your snowboots.
• Demonstrate how to "walk like a penguin" on icy sidewalks.
• Ask your au pair to stand outside, totally still, to hear the snow falling.
• Take her out to the backyard, and turn off all the outside lights, and just look.

Tip: Teach your Au Pair about Vampires

Special Halloween Edition

Every Host Mom should teach her au pair about vampires. No, I don’t mean the Bill Compton kind of vampire, I mean the bill ELECTRIC kind of vampire.

[If you want to know more about Bill Compton, check these vids: "I'm Too Sexy..." (almost NSFW) or "Talking in Your Sleep." Apparently, these are more popular on YouTube than Colin Firth in P&P -- Unimaginable!)

But I digress.

One of my pet peeves (not just with au pairs but also with my husband and kids) is them (never me. Never.) leaving lights, computers, stereos, air conditioners, fans, and other electric things on while no one is actively using them.

I hear myself sounding just like my own mom: "Who left the lights on in the playroom?" "Will someone please turn off the lights in the playroom?" "If I have to go down in that playroom one more time to turn off the lights I think I'll scream (even louder)."

It is just pathetic.

Next week an electrician is coming to install some light fixtures, and he's going to install some motion sensitive switches in the playroom so that I never have to yell about that particular problem again. [Soon, too, I'll write the post: "Stop nagging and create mechanical systems to get what you want."] But I can’t put fancy switches on everything, so I still have to work hard to shape folks’ behavior around turnings things off.

Think about this:

Somewhere between 17-25 % of the electricity you use in your household is sucked away by vampires. Vampires are those rectangular black things on so many electric appliances that use a small amount of electricity to keep appliances in standby mode, or to recharge cordless things.

If you teach your au pair and your family about electric vampires, you might save a little money, a little bit of the environment, and a little bit of your own sanity.

Why do vampires matter?

In the spirit of energy efficiency, I quote and borrow from A. Seigel’s post at The Huffington Post , below. (Please go to his post for a fuller discussion and some great links.)

Vampire power … that little red light showing your TV as always ready for the remote control, even if you only watch it an hour a month. The cell phone or wireless phone charger burning up power even after the phone is fully charged (or even without the phone). The ’sleeping’ computer. The xerox machine [air conditioner!!!!] left on through the four day weekend. The modem and wireless system. The nearly ubiquitous electronics of our lives.

Type of equipment  % of power used that is wasted by vampire

Cordless phone 66%
Televisions 25%
VCRs 30%
DVD players Up to 75%
Home audio equipment Up to 90%

Take a bite out of Vampires! Action Steps:

– Talk about "energy efficiency" and not only "being green." Research shows that the words "energy efficiency" get more attention from individuals than words like "sustainability" and "being green", because the term is specific rather than vague. It tells you what to do: Be more energy efficient.

– Buy your au pair (and yourself) some smartstrips to make it easier to be energy efficient.

– Put all of your au pair’s major and minor electronic devices on power strips. Use one power strip per ‘concept’ ( i.e., use one powerstrip for the computer, monitor, & printer, so that the flick of ONE switch turns it all off).

– Teach your au pair to use the switch on the power strip to easily turn off everything at once: the dvd, the TV/stereo spend easily 80+% of the time with the power strip off, with no electricity wasted.

– Unplug any charger devices that are not actively charging something. Don’t keep that phone charger plugged in 24/7, when you only recharge your phone every 3 days.

– Ask your au pair to come up with a game for your kids to get everyone to remember to turn off lights.

– Be a good role model.

Happy Halloween!

9 Ways to Celebrate Halloween with your Au Pair

Special Halloween Edition

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays to share with Au Pairs. Unlike some holidays, Halloween doesn’t seem to trigger a whole lot of nostalgia and homesickness. For au pairs who ‘do’ Halloween in their home countries, it’s a chance for her to share traditions from her culture. And, if your au pair is new to Halloween, you get to introduce her to all the fun.

Over the years, we’ve done a lot of different things as a family to celebrate the holiday and the season, adjusting as the girls have gotten older. Halloween is one holiday where including our au pair in whatever we’re doing has increased the fun every time. Here are some Halloween activities you might consider:

1. Get your Au Pair a costume. At our house, I’ve always encouraged our au pairs to "get in the spirit" by putting together a costume. We’ve done the purchased costume from Target, the costume assembled from the kids’ dress up chest, and the completely original cardboard box "creature."

2. Bring your au pair to a Halloween Party. My daughters’ school has an annual Fall Festival, with a haunted hallway and square dancing, and we’ve always dragged our au pairs along. In part this gets me another set of eyes to watch the girls run around the auditorium, but also it gets our au pairs out into the community to see the Halloween fun that goes beyond just the candy.

3. Have your au pair greet the trick-or-treaters. One of our greatest Halloweens was when our 6 foot tall au pair dressed up as a witch and stood on our front porch, surrounded by jack ‘o lanterns and big fake spiders. She kept absolutely still– looking like a Halloween decoration– and at the moment the trick-or-treaters’ feet hit our steps, she let out a wild cackle.

Kids in our neighborhood still talk about it. One of the best scares ever.

4. Enlist your au pair to help with the candy distribution and collection. Having our au pair be on duty for Halloween evening means that we can take turns being at home to hand out candy and walking around with the kids to collect treats. Being the person who answers the door lets your au pair see the whole variety of costumes and kids, while going around the neighborhood (sometimes) lets her see what other people’s homes are like (another cultural exchange).

5. Find some Halloween crafts for her to do with your kids — like making scary food for the preK party.

6. Bring your au pair to a pumpkin patch.

7. Teach your au pair how to carve a pumpkin. Teach her how to salt & toast the seeds. Please also teach her to keep her face away from the pumpkin while she carves. Safety first.

8. Ask your au pair to play math games with the kids as they count, divide and trade their candy.

9. Invite your au pair to watch "It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." Explain to her why this show is/was such a tradition, and why it’s so sad. (This will also prepare her for traditions related to Charlie Brown’s Christmas, Rudolph, and The Grinch.)

What have you and your au pairs done to celebrate Halloween??

Host Mom Advice Wanted: Allow Au Pair to use personal computer while on duty?

Hi Host Moms-

We’ve gotten a request for advice, from KT_VA:

We have an au pair, who takes care of our 6 month old. Today I came home to find my daughter sleep upstairs, and the au pair on the computer instant messaging her friends, with the baby monitor off.

20 minutes later, I heard my daughter wake up and start crying. I waited to see if the au pair would react and when she did not, went and told her to never sit with the baby monitor off.

I’m thinking about banning her computer usage during work hours, but is that going too far? My daughter sleeps a fair amount during the day, leaving the au pair without any real duties per se…

But then again, she is on duty…

KT_Va, I think that you have two issues going on here…

(1) Your au pair was not putting your daughter’s needs (and her own responsibilities) ahead of her own personal things, and

(2) she was engaged in instant messaging, etc. on the computer.

IMHO, the real issue is #1– not only was your au pair not paying attention to the baby, but also she had the baby monitor off– so there was no way she would have known if/ when your daughter needed attention.

I think that you were smart to wait and see whether the au pair would hear the baby (without the monitor) or whether she would get up and go to the room to check on the baby directly. By waiting, you were able to confirm that she was missing your baby’s cries and possibly the baby’s needs. Also, you were able to give your au pair some quick, accurate feedback to show her that she was indeed missing something important. And, you were able to show her exactly what was wrong (monitor was off) and tell her what was needed (monitor on). As far as giving her the important message and giving her direct and actionable feedback, your ‘wait and listen’ strategy was effective.   

Some might think that you were sneaky and ‘waiting for her to fail’ or to ‘catch her in the act’. However, it is more effective to correct someone right after something like this has gone wrong, when all the evidence is there. If you were to bring it up more abstractly in a weekly meeting, it might feel just another correction, when in fact it’s about your au pair’s primary role– watching the baby!

Now, your au pair could have been doing any number of personal things - showering, napping, reading or painting her toenails - with the monitor off and with her attention on her own stuff and not on  the baby. So it’s not as though the computer itself is the problem. It’s the symptom.

The "problem" is– what’s sensible to ask an au pair to do when the child is asleep (or occupied in a play date, or having her piano lesson) or doing anything else where direct, constant au pair attention is too much. I have gone back and forth on this– especially as my girls have gotten old enough to entertain themselves, they don’t need an au pair sitting in the playroom watching them and their American Girl dolls. But at the same time, I don’t want the au pair in her room on the 3rd floor, either.

So, often I try to find some kind of ‘kid work’ that she can do that is easy to interrupt when she needs to check the girls, and that is not so mentally absorbing that she forgets all about the girls. Sometimes I ask our au pair to do the laundry and bring it into the playroom where the girls are when it’s time to fold clothes. I’ve also suggested that she do some ironing (hers or theirs) in the laundry room next to the playroom– within earshot. Or, if she’s upstairs in the kitchen cooking their supper, I ask her just to listen from the top of the stairs every fgew minutes and maybe go downstairs every 20 mins or so (just often enough that she can norive and intervene if they are squabbling). [[ But who knows if she actually does this-- since, truth be told, i don't always pay that close attention when I'm 'on duty'. Then again, it's her job to mind them first, while it's my job to run the whole world our home, etc. ]]

I have also asked our au pairs to do the girls laundry when the girls are sleeping or napping and the au pair is on duty, to read parenting/childcare articles and chapters in books, and to reorganize the art supplies too.

But, there is still time when she has nothing pressing to do for the girls– and then what? How much do you have to remind any childcare provider that there job #1 is keeping an eye on the child/ren?

Your Thoughts, Moms?

In Rematch Again? Why didn’t you call me?

Just a quick, little story:

I heard through the grapevine that the au pair we had briefly, who rematched with another family over "personality issues" is in rematch– again. This made me wonder, just as I wondered when this au pair was in rematch the first time:

Why didn’t you call me?

Yes, you, host-parent-in-rematch. Why didn’t you call me?

Sure, it might have been a little awkward for you — especially if I really was that psycho host mom the au pair described to you. Even so, didn’t you want to know whether there was something that I could have shared with you, host mom to host mom?

If I’d said "We’re heartbroken that she wants to go to California to be near her friend from home" you’d have felt even more excited to welcome her into your home.

If I’d said, "She wasn’t confident driving in our town" or "She really preferred working with younger kids" or "She refused to work any Saturday nights" then you’d have had a little fuller picture of her skills and interests.

Or, If I’d said "She was unwilling to use the discipline system (timeouts) we prefer" or "She called my daughter a brat", then you might have been forewarned about her attitude and flexibility.

But you didn’t call me.

And now, just 4 weeks later, you’re in rematch again.

I could have told you.

But you didn’t call me.

Homesickness and your Au Pair: How you might help

Being an Au Pair’s host mom occasionally calls for you to help your au pair take care of herself, both physically and emotionally. You will find yourself needing to offer her ideas about how to distinguish between a cold and an allergy, how to find new friends, and almost certainly how to deal with homesickness.

If your au pair seems depressed or is spending a lot of time in her room, sleeping, and/or on the phone & computer, it’s possible that she’s missing her family, friends and familiar environs. I get homesick sometimes when I’m away for two nights for work– so I can empathize with an au pair who realizes that 12 months is a long time and home is a long way away.

Can you keep your au pair from becoming homesick?

Probably not. Your au pair is in charge of her emotions, so there’s not much you can really "do" to prevent homesickness or to fix it for her. But, you can help your au pair deal with homesickness by offering her some advice and strategies. Talya , a former Au Pair who writes at Best Au Pair Guide , recently wrote about how to manage homesickness . You could print out Talya’s post for your au pair, or email it to her. You might also encourage your au pair to look at her au pair program materials for their advice and encourage her to talk to her Local Community Counselor. And, as a host mom you can do a few things that might help:

1. Invite your au pair to talk about her family and her friends at home. Ask her to describe personalities, tell stories, and talk politics. While some of this can look like ‘cultural exchange’, it can also help your au pair feel connected to her home.  For your au pair, sometimes being able to make far-away people part of her everyday conversations with you can help her create a connection between where she is now and where she was & will be. Instead of being isolated from home, she might think of herself as being what connects home and here.

A side benefit for you and your children is that you learn more about your au pair’s world– you may understand her more deeply, and/or get a fuller sense of who she is. This, in turn, can help build your relationships and reduce the loneliness that triggers homesickness.

2. Ask your au pair about the new world that she’s creating here for herself. Ask about the other au pairs she’s met, about what she’s learning about the US, about what she’s discovered about your kids, and about the other au pairs that she’s met.

3. Find ways that your au pair can be especially productive. There may be an art project, an organizing project, a trip to the library, or something that needs to be *done*, that your au pair can do to feel like she’s making a difference in your home. (See Amanda’s idea at SimpleMom.com for creating an Art Box for kids ) .

Projects work against homesickness in two ways. First, feeling homesick tends to make people be more passive than usual, and being passive gives people a chance to be the ‘victim’ of sad thoughts. You want your au pair to be the active agent of positive thoughts, because positive thoughts hold homesickness at bay. Second, when we are able to ruminate on something sad, we make ourselves sadder. When we are busy, we aren’t really able to hold all the homesick thoughts in the front of our minds, and we avoid digging ourselves an emotional trough.

4. Find some ways that she and the kids (and maybe even you) can play together — especially outside. Can she take the kids bike-riding?  Bake cookies with your 4 year old? Take the dog & kids to the park to toss the Frisbee (this one always works to pick me up)? It’s hard to be sad when you’re running around with happy little people who look up to you.

5. Avoid playing moody music. (I’m not kidding!) Once dreary Fall day, I was playing a CD of some melancholy Celtic music in the kitchen, just trying to relax a bit, when my au pair burst into tears. The combination of the music and the greyness outside was more than she could handle. So I put on High School Musical , and made myself sing along until my au pair finished her sandwich and went off to the mall.

6. Talk with your au pair about her goals for the year. What does she want to learn? Where does she want to travel? Who does she want to meet? Help her think about the positive reasons that she’s here in the US. Encourage her to make a list, get out a calendar, set some goals.

7. Recommend ways that your au pair can "get creative". It’s hard to be sad when you’re creating something. How about making a video of the neighborhood? Making a flower arrangement from branches off the trees in your back yard? Dressing up the dog and doing a canine photo shoot? Creating a video on Howcast.com about something she knows how to do?

8. Encourage your au pair to combine goal-setting and getting creative by making a Vision Board. ( Christine Kane has a great post on how and why to make a vision board .) She can hang her vision board in her room, to keep herself focused on the positive.

A little bit of homesickness is inevitable, for any au pair, no matter how happy she is to be here and be with your family. Remember, when your au pair does get homesick, don’t take it personally . Of course, if you’re a host mom who is cold, unfriendly, and hard to please, your au pair is more likely to miss home. But even if you and your family are warm, accommodating and encouraging, your au pair is still likely to be a little homesick every now and then.  So, don’t take it personally. Instead, while recognizing that your au pair is an adult who can (and needs to) take care of herself, think of some ways to extend some support and some kindness.

Other ideas? Let us know in the comments, below.